The long road

When the road gets bumpy, don't be grumpy just smile, smile, smile, and be happy.

La cigale et la fourmi

I just came back from a very tiring but awesome trip. I attended my friend's wedding in Venice and it was so cool. We went by private boat from the island of Lido (where I stayed) to the Venice town hall. I was with Kevin, a friend of mine, who was in the same boat as the groom and his parents. My friend insisted he wanted a civil wedding and not in a church, which was very interesting considering the strong influence of catholicism in Italy, at least symbolically and culturally. Well, anyway, this friend of mine is a fine breed. He studied in the University of Venice. He did Persian literature and the Islamic world. It seems that Italians there seem to come out having such an admiration of the religion. They were taught to look at Islam from a very different angle. My friend speaks Persian and Arabic fluently. Anyway, the ceremony was not that long. After the thing, we were supposed to throw rice and lentils to the newly-weds. It was fun! Then, we returned to Lido and had a smashing party which started at 6pm and ended way past midnight. They served traditional venetian food which consists of all kinds of seafood, raw, grilled and whatever. It was really delicious. There were cocktails and food all night long. That same night, though, we had to leave for Florence (Firenze) at 3am. So we went back and packed, and shoot off to train station. We slept in the train and arrived at Florence at about 7am. Spend a whole day there, just to kill time because we had a bus to catch to Marseille at 10.45pm the same day. Personally, I didn't enjoy Florence eventhough it was my third time. It was boring, only with massive domes and churces, and naked statues. Probably art-lovers would enjoy the city.

Anyway, off to Marseille. Arrived at Marseille around 9am. Surprisingly, they didn't check our passports at the border. I guess the controls are not that strict on the road. We checked in La cigale et la fourmi ( a really cool backpacker's inn which was about 15 euros) and had a great time. Marseille in itself, is really boring if you were to ask me. The city is big, it's really an immigrant city which a huge migrant population consisting of North Africans and Senegalese. Apart from the port (and some nice Marseillian delicacies such as bouillabaise and moules et frites) there was nothing much to see. But Marseille has one of the most beautiful natural resource - Les calanques. Basically, the calanques are a series of mountain fjords. To access the calanques, you have to climb the limestone mountain but once you reach the calanques, you will have the time of your life. It is so beautiful, paradise for mountain climbers, nudist, cliff divers, scuba divers, and good for snorkelling too. Well, we did a bit of climbing and snorkelling, which was not too bad. But it was scorching hot in Marseille at this time of the year. I was completely tanned. After 3 nights, we went to Nimes to catch a Ryanair flight back to London. But before leaving, we had to do one last crazy thing. We actually walked from the train station in Nimes to the airport. We started walking at 11pm and reached the airport at around 7am! But we rested infront of a small shop and slept for about 2 hours before moving on. There was one time along a very dark road, we heard a very loud bark. It seems like a very big fierce dog, and the shittiest thing was, we didn't know where it came from because it was pitch dark. So we ended up standing there for a few good minutes because I told my friend that if we were to run, it is more than likely than it will run after us. After some time staring at nothing, and completely helpless, we slowly moved away from where the sound was. Pheew! We were that close to making the Marseillian headlines (foreigners bitten to death near highway)! But we survived somehow and London felt so good! I was so happy to read English again, and even Chavs and drunk brits seem like brothers. So there was, a trip of a lifetime. Would do more soon.

I've no respect for you

I have no respect for you, because all my life I have given it without being appreciated. But what about repsect for me? Am I not human to deserve some? We live in a world of social expectations. Our roles in society are socially defined and we have to conform to it or be doomed. But what about reciprocity, and what about deserving rather than enforcing respect? Life, not as easy as it seems, is it? Fuck all.

Miss you love

Millionaire say,
Got a big shot deal,
Throw it all away but,
I'm not too sure,
How I'm supposed to feel,
Or what I'm supposed to say but,
I'm not, not sure, not to sure,
How it feels,
To handle everyday,
And I miss you, love.

Narices sobre todos

+ nakutemo ii desu.

watashi no tame ni kawanakutemo ii desu.


sono hito no tame ni harawanakutemo ii desu.

Nuestra vida

They say a flawless life is a perfect life,
But I say the beauty of life lies in its imperfection,
Of a soul finding meaning in his constant struggles.
In the midst of madness and evil,
I see love, and sacrifice, of empathy,
making its way into the darkness,
guiding the path of life.
Such is life,
beauty amidst imperfection.

Cavaliere

The inherent within a person,
the inherent that can only be seen,
not by mere sight, superficial as it is,
but by the vision of the heart.
But the inherent, how can it be?
How can one seek such a delicate beauty?
A beauty cannot be explained by the naked eye.
Fatigue seeps, desperation, disheartenment.
But one could feel the inherent drawing near,
he feels yet he cannot find,
he closes his eyes.
He wakes up only to find the same old brook,
the similar sound of running water,
dry leaves as dry as the quest for love,
washed away by the torrential stream.
He turns back,
birds singing the requiem of love,
if only he could ride again,
again and forever,
with the love that can never wane.

Some simple Japanese phrases

Why? = Doushite (formal) Naze (informal)?
So? or therefore, so = Dakara
Right? = Sou Deshou?
See? = Wakaru Deshou?

Agreements
Sure = Mochiron
Great! = Sugoi!
Exactly! = Sono touri desu
Maybe = Tabun
So..so = Maa maa
Okay = ii yo
Nothing = Betsuni

Disagreements
Bad = Dame desu (formal) dame yo, dame da (informal)
Impossible! = Muri desu (formal) muri yo, muri da (informal)
Wrong = Chigaimasu (formal) chigau yo (informal)
Stop! = Yamete!
Strange = Okashii na
Please! = Onegai
Listen = Kiite
Relax! = Ochitsuite
Hush! = Shi
Wait! = Matte
Come! = Kinasai!
Go! = Ikinasai (formal) ike (informal)!
Quiet! = Shizukani

Unfavourable responses
Terrible! = Hidoi
Miserable = Mijime da
Cool = Kakkoi

Useful expressions
And... = Soshite
Anytime = Itsudemo
Anything = Nandemo

How
How far? = Dono kurai tooku
How long? = Dono kurai kakaru no
How small? = Dono kurai chiisai no
How big? = Dono kurai ookii no
How late? = Dono kurai okureru no
How soon? = Dono kurai suguni
How fast? = Dono kurai hayai no

Unlikely source

The joy of being a kid. Relentless expressions of sorrow, joy, anger, confusion, inability, hopelessness and so on. When we grow up, we increasingly hide our feelings for all sorts of reasons. We regulate these expressions, carefully selecting the suitable situation to let go of these emotions which are waiting to get out. Some don't spit it out at all and prefer to keep it by themselves. This often leads to a deterioration of mental health. But is this feature integral to what defines an adult? Is it common to consider this 'restrictive' trait as part of adulthood or is it just how we are brought up, to think as such? I think so, for better or worse.

Mizuho no uta

kenkyujo ni naremasu youni.
Doyatte soko ni iku ka wakarimasen.
Doyatte anata ni denwa o kakeru ka wakarimasen.
Nani o tabetara ii ka wakarimasen.
Doyatte sake o nomu ka wakarimasen.
Doyatte mizuho no uta o hiku ka wakarimasen.
Kurisumasu no toki kaze o hikimashita.
Matsu Takako CD o motte kitte kudasai.
Motte ikimasu.

Fast car

Fast Car - Tracy Chapman


You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove
You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
We won't have to drive too far
Just 'cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living

You see my old man's got a problem
He live with the bottle that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
I say his body's too young to look like his
My mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school and that's what I did

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way
I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder

And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
And we go cruising to entertain ourselves
You still ain't got a job
And I work in a market as a checkout girl
I know things will get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a big house and live in the suburbs

You got a fast car
And I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so you can fly away
You gotta make a decision
You leave tonight or live and die this way


Sabado 3.40am 11/12/04

Chi sono io?

Chi sono io? Perche desidero essere qualcuno io non sono? Per cambiare a cualcuno migliore? Ma e vero? Voglio cambiare, si. Pero, dove vado? Percorso securo? Non lo so niente, purtroppo. Adesso, credo che faccio la giusta cosa. Non lo so. Non lo so ancora. La vita e non facile. Molti ostacoli. Dio, il misericordiosissimo, il clementissimo...sei la mia soltanto speranza. Aiuti questa anima.


un nessuno.

Dare no tame ni?

Sonnani okoranaide yo!
Tsugi wa doko e ikou ka?
Mattete kurete arigato.
Sushi nanka dou?
Tasukete kudasai.
Tasukete yo!
Tetsudatte.
Shokuji shiyoo.
Doushitanda/doushitano?
Dare no tame ni bangohan ni ryouri suru ka?
Kare wa doko ni imasu ka?
Koko e ikou tochu.

Soro soro ikimashoo. Ja mata!

Literati versus intelligentsia

In emphasizing two contrasing aspects of the functions and roles of the literate in the early and later civilisations, Childe and Toynbee point to a difference that might deserve the distinguishing terms that these writers give to the two kinds of literate people. Childe is impressed with the separation between craftsmanship and literacy in the early civilizations and with the "scholastic attitude" developed by those clerks who used writing to set down traditional lore and knowledge and who came to develop the exact sciences and philosophy. Some of these became custodians and interpreters of sacred books. In this aspect of their functions, internal to the developing civilisation, we might speak of the new type of men as literati. The literate elite of China illustrate this type. These persons are enclosed within the culture that has become civilisation. They carry it forward into a more systematic and reflective phase....

Toynbee, on the other hand, writes of the functions of those literate persons who mediate between the society out of which they arose and some other and alien civilisation which is impinging upon it. These people have learned something alien to the culture of their native community; they "have learnt the tricks of the intrusive civilisaton's trade so far as may be necessary to enable their own community, through their agency, just to hold its own in a social environment in which life is ceasing to be lived in accordance with the local tradition and is coming more and more to be lived in the style imposed by the intrusive civilisation upon the aliens who fall under its domination"....These people Toynbee calls by a word which developed for them in Russia, the intelligentsia. In contrast to the literati, the member of the intelligentsia "is born to be unhappy". He belongs to two worlds, not one; he is a "marginal man".

Robert Redfield

The land of make believe

To live in a place where it is comfortable and homely, is to share the same values with the place. A place we live can be stressful or the contrary depending on the congruence of our ideals and values with that of the place. This is why some people may find his 'home' land in a far away place thousands of miles away. Some people, say, terrorists in Hamburg may find Afghanistan much closer to their hearts than where they are residing. An ardent believer of pacifist resistance may regard parts of spiritual India as an ultimate abode. Some people who believe in the importance of human development may desire to escape the grip of extremism in their homeland and as such, has no attachment whatsoever with it apart from his physical presence in it.

He believes he belongs to a community which rarely exists, if not at all, in his residence and that it transcends physical boundaries.


If the land of make believe
Is inside your heart it will never leave
There's a golden gate where the fairies all wait
And dancing moons, for you

Close your eyes and you'll be there
Where the mermaids sing as they comb their hair
Like a fountain of gold you can never grow old
Where dreams are made, your love parade.

Che bella giornata vero?

To express emotions on the beauty of certain things, we can use the term 'nante' but we cannot use the normal 'masu' form of the verb at the end. This means that we have to end the sentence with either desho (formal) or daro (informal).

Nante kirei na hito nan desho! (How beautiful she is!)

Nante kanashii eiga nan daro! (What a sad movie it is!)

Nante kawaii akachan nan desho! (How cute the baby is!)


That's it for now.

Los dos mundos differentes en lo mismo ser

The two different worlds residing in the same body. Both contradicting each other. Such is the nature of the internal conflict within. Es dolor. muy, muy. It fashions, shapes the mind, the preoccupation with meaningless struggle. It moulds a person into maturity regardless of whether the time suits the self. He is forced into a world he chose yet he did not. For the mind is right at that moment in time. Maturity? Shit. This is constant, ongoing, ever there. He doesn't care too much about the moralistic world for he is in a deeper moralistic struggle than the world can ever imagine. Mind yourself before minding others. Do justice to yourself, in order to be capable of justice towards others. State of the moment? Perhaps. No lo se.

"When and if" nihongo de

Watashi ga chisakatta toki nihon e ikimashita. (When I was small, I went to Japan)

In this context, toki takes the form of "when".

Watashi ga eiga o mitte iru toki nemukatta. (When I was watching the movie, I was sleepy)
Anata ga igirisu de benkyo shita toki sabishikatta ka (When you were studying in the UK, were you lonely?)

"If" in Japanese takes the form of verb + tara.

Taiko ga owattara, owarimasu. (If the drums stop, it will end)

or

Pizza o tabetara, tai e ikimasu. (If you eat pizza, I'll go to Thailand)

Kino kore o watashi no tomodachi ni naraimasu.

Moichido to Moikkai wa onaji desu.

Ja, ganbatte.

Construction of the creative process

The relationship between the Creator and creations is a very interesting one, especially with regard to us human beings. How for example, we embody the essence of our Creator (al-'ayan al-thabitah), and hence the possibility of a dynamic relationship, leads us to the very core of the process of human thought and its subsequent intellectual activities.

God is the sole agent of the creative process which means only He can create. This being the case, when we talk about human creations, it is only possible by the extension of God's mercy (rahmat) and His Divine energy which enables a person to create. The human soul is a microcosmic representation of the realm of being ('alam). Whatever the processes and structures of the universe as a whole, is happening right inside the individual person. The structure of the human soul consists of 3:

1. Al-sirr (the spiritual heart)

This is the seat of Divine spirit. All transmissions of God's divine energy will be chanelled here. The cultivation of this part of the human soul will enable a person to have stronger closeness to God. This being the case, there is a feature within us that resembles that of the creator, al-'ayan al-thabitah (the immutable essence). We embody a part of God's immutable essence, albeit in a potential state (uncultivated) because we don't know the existence of it. On the contrary, God's immutable essence is constantly active and creating many things.

2. Al-nafs al-natiqah (the intellectual soul)

This is the soul which regulates the transmission of Divine energy into the spiritual heart. All the human intellectual activities occurs here.

3. Al-nafs al-hayawaniyah (the carnal soul)

This is the soul which creates imagination and emotion. Like animals, we possess the the carnal soul. Upon God's mercy, He channels His energy into the spiritual heart in the form of general knowledge. So, in order for the knowledge (which are still in a metaphysical potential form) to materialize into particular knowledge, it has to go through the carnal soul which processes it into the form of images and hence assumes a physical material form in our thought.

This process is very important in understanding how we create or invent things. In the case of literature, for example, if the author wants to write about the idea of kingship, he must first have a general idea of a king. God illuminates his spiritual heart enabling him to conjure up the idea of a king. But this idea is without form. His carnal soul then translates this idea into the form of images. He then creates a physical shape of a king in his mind, and makes comparisons with images which already exist in his mind. King is as brave as a lion, as generous as the sea. By this process, the general idea of a king takes material form. But these images (king, lion, sea) are all in raw form, unorganised and disorderly in our thought. They are illuminations of images, which appear randomly in our thought without series. The intellectual soul then regulates, controls, organises these images in our mind enabling the author to write a literature about a king in a structured way. Such is the construction of the process of creation.

Ramadhan

Ramadhan is here! Wish all the fasting ones good luck. Sahur is always an important part of the whole process. But the content of it greatly differs between Malaysia, and other countries, say, Egypt. I remember once during the MIVP (Malaysia International Visitors Programme), in which I participated, it was during Ramadhan. There were quite a number of muslims in the programme. Mandarin Oriental, the hotel they stayed in, arranged a daily sahur package for them. One of the Egyptian participant told me that he was quite shocked when he was sent a whole tray of rice, chicken, vegetables, fish etc. He did not know what it was for. Sahur in Egypt, so I was told, is very decent. You have some fruits, milk, or something light. But that's it. Then you go to sleep. Breaking fast is the same thing. You have all these stalls (at the pasar juadah) selling a mountain of things, from cakes to whole dishes. And you can see hundreds of people swarming these places before breaking fast time. On the upper end, we see a blooming 'Ramadhan' business. All sorts of hotels and restaurants offer Ramadhan buffetts to entice customers. And it works, all the time. Most muslims that I talk to would be surprised. For them, Ramadhan is a personal thing, and is often celebrated with the family. Eating out is never the rule, it's always in the cozy home with homemade dishes.

I have a strong feeling that this reflects the society, their sense of solidarity, and of course, the awareness of gastronomic concerns. Malaysia, in this regard, is way behind. Especially on the latter, I think we need to have this public awareness going around. The importance of eating good food, of not eating nasi lemak at 3am at Ravi's etc. It'll take time though, slowly but surely.